help...

Hai, jadi ceritanya Fikanya lagi kesepian nih mehehe. Duh, bingung mau nulis apa tapi kesepian, bosen. why do those things lead you to "galau" easily, huh? Pingin menyibukkan diri tapi bingung mau ngapain hehe. Besok udah kuliah, ga kepengen main the sims atau ngenet sampe larut malem lagi but way too hard to sleep. how should I do, ladies and gentleman? anyway Fika mau tanya nih, kenapa sih sulit banget ya ngontrol ego, atau female ego dan semacamnya lah itu. Kenapa perempuan harus punya female ego? I dont even really know about myself and getting so much trouble to control myself. Padahal udah niat banget gitu mau nggak egois, mau nahan ego, tapi ketika permasalahan dan sesuatu terjadi, niat itu tuh seakan sirna gitu aja. Idk why but its so hard. I can't stop talking, wishing people to hear, and understand me as well. Pada orang-orang tertentu, kepengin ngeluarin segala uneg-uneg, ngeluarin segala yang aku rasain, kepengin tangisannya didenger, kepengin ditenangin. but every single word I've said leads that persons to the misunderstanding. It looks like im the most selfish woman ever! looks like i just want to be heard without hearing. so is that the selfish concept? It drives me to these words, "Am I that selfish? Omg then how to control it? Im losing my mind". Yep, mungkin ketika kita nggak bisa nahan perasaan kemudian diungkapkan, segalanya diungkapkan, terkadang malah terdengar seperti kita menyalahkan orang dan keadaan tersebut, dan lebih tragisnya lagi saat itulah kita disebut orang yang egois. And im such a supersensitive person, who speak out when even every little thing on "some" persons changing. I might be a perfectionist, yes that melancholy typical. I want every single thing runs smoothly, never flips to worse, and goes well. But the two simple word that i have to remember everytime is "people changes". Even i belong to that. But pals, those words are just the words, it doesnt really matter. The fact isnt always on the right one. When you face it, you get something different. Man, why life's so hard? or I just take it too much? Oops, I might be on the second opinion because yeah I feel it. Sometimes I wonder, do people get the same problem as mine? but how come they pass it smoothly? I think im not mature enough to choose this way.
So now the problem is how to... yes! how to control ego? Bring me some answers, please?

Sincerely,
My heart and mind


♡✿♡